Hidden Dangers on Hike Day

Before you take off into the Colorado wilds with your beloved crew, beware of a few plants we should all watch out for — especially if you’re hiking with pets who tend to nibble. Here are four common plants that, if ingested, will help us bite the big one in kind.

Western Water hemlock

This widowmaker is the most violently toxic plant in the entire country. (Lucky us, no?) Just a bit of this stuff in your system will cause convulsions of a particularly deadly nature, so if you come across this guy, do steer clear. Humans have flirted with the fatal fandango while clearing ditches and plowing soil. The toxin is located inside the stem and presents itself as a brown or straw-colored liquid you do not wanna mess with. The tuber portion resembles a wild parsnip and smells of carrots, which is all kindsa wrong. Poor bunnies.

Death Camas

Way back when, natives called this little bugger “mystery grass.” Ya wanna know what botanists call it today? Toxicoscordion venenosum. Yeah. Found in dry areas, every single bit of this plant is poisonous, and consumption of 2–6 percent of your bodyweight can be fatal in both humans and animals. Kinda messed up, as the bulb is often mistaken for edible wild onions.

Larkspur

A fan of the wetter areas of our state — especially in high elevation — the larkspur has been known to obliterate entire herds of cattle. (The poor things find the royal purple plant highly palatable.) The ornamental beauties are often found in gardens and are alluring to the touchy-feely crowd (read: kids) but beware the skin irritation: It tells of worse things to come if consumed. Like what? Like respiratory paralysis, seizures, and a spot right next to it in the garden for your final dirt-nap. Pass, right?

Two-grooved Milkvetch

This plant sounds like it’d cut a rug, but it’s more likely to cut your pet’s lifespan. Drawing on the natural selenium in certain soil regions of Colorado, this prairie- and roadside-loving legume (uh huh, a legume) has taken down curious livestock that merely wanted a nibble. Sheep who’ve been observed shortly after “getting into the two-groove” exhibited signs of shock and coma before they died of cardiac arrest, so hold the leash a little tighter as you pass this sinister son-of-a-gun.

I know it’s a buzzkill to talk about sick pets (and humans), but google these plants and remember them the next time you’re strapping on hiking boots. It could save you the biggest buzzkill of all. Also, if you’re getting ready to upgrade the no man’s land of your backyard, be sure you know what you’re doing or hire a professional landscaper who’s equipped to kick some poisonous ass in your honor.

Happy and safe trails to you all, my outdoorsy friends.