Going Green in the Kitchen

By Kimberly Hamelin

Back in the day, you could get a bag of marijuana leaves for a few bucks, and were grateful to be able to find it. Now that pot is legal in Colorado, it’s all about the buds.

After trimming off some “sweetleaf,” my friend had some impressive nugs. But what to do with all that crystallized THC goodness left on the plate? Why cook with it, of course!

But you have to know how, and that’s the tricky part.

My mom’s best friend has had a medical marijuana card for years. She lives in San Francisco, and grows it in her front window. She gets visits from the police on occasion, but it gets cleared up quickly, so no harm, no foul — just a minor inconvenience. She’s getting on in her years, and is having trouble breathing lately, so she moved on to edibles. She started making cookies, but her cholesterol went through the roof, so she had to cut back. That wasn’t doing anything for her health and well-being, so she found a plan B.

I called and told her my friend was growing, and asked her for the recipe for her cannabutter. 
 “One cup of butter per one cup of pot. Four hours in the crock pot on low, and strain the hell out of it with cheesecloth after.”
It’s not as easy as it sounds, though. You have to strain it when it’s hot, and burns hurt. Be careful. I made my first batch with buds, and it was so strong, it knocked everyone out! I didn’t have my glasses on, and thought one stick of butter was a cup as well, so that didn’t help. I’m an idiot. In my next batch I used shake, and it was a lot more “user friendly.” The brownies I made didn’t overwhelm anyone, and I got a good response. But the stench! Even on low in the crockpot, the smell of the marijuana was overwhelming, so I started leaving a window open when I made it. Then there’s the taste. Success with edibles is only achieved if you can hide the taste. To me, it tastes like hay, but others like it.

Then I learned about making oil. Same recipe, but with oil. I made a lasagna that hid the taste of the green, and all by accident. I took the “funny” oil and browned the meat in it, and then made the sauce, which took a whole day. I forgot the oil was funny and ate two sausages I’d fried in it, never detecting the taste, and I was messed … up! (I slept really well that night.) The next day, I put the lasagna together, and it turned out awesome. I only let certain people sample my creation, and they were suitably impressed.

In another miracle instance, my ears were hurting from moving to a much higher elevation, and the over-the-counter analgesic eardrops weren’t doing any good. A neighbor, who had another grow, was making tinctures and oils from pot as an experiment. One drop of the oil in each ear, and I haven’t had a single bit of pain since. My mom’s friend has been trying to get her low- cholesterol edible recipes approved by the health care providers in California for a few years, but hasn’t had much success to date. I’m hoping somehow, someday, the medical community can accept that nature provided this essential substance and endorse it. Until then, want a brownie?