Gays, Vegas, and Plenty of Liza

It’s happened: Queers can get married in Vegas. After the SCOTUS decision, (or indecision), queers everywhere started getting married — including those in Nevada. I called this shit years ago! I said I never understood why Nevada (of all the states in the union!) hadn’t passed marriage equality. What’s gayer than Vegas? (Don’t even try to answer that.) We know the answer is nothing. Literally nothing is gayer than Vegas.

Now that out Nevada Senator Kelvin Atkinson has married his partner, Sherwood Howard, the flood of queer marriages can officially begin. Can you imagine what this is going to look like in a couple of months? There are so many queers working in Vegas. They will have all kinds of celebrity weddings. Ev-ree-bod-eee will be there.

Why should straights get all the quickie-marriage/quick-annulment fun? Just think: You’ll finally get your moment to be just like Britney Spears and marry your bestie from way back as some drunken “bright idea.” My friend DJ Lisa Pittman holds an event every year called Shedonism. Thousands of lesbians come to Vegas to … well what they’re doing is beside the point. The point is, all of these lesbians will be feeling good, in Vegas … a place where a woman can look at her girl, post coitus, and say, “Let’s just go get married” — even if they just met, she’s positive she found her soulmate.

This also means people can create the most over-the-top weddings imaginable. Think: the gay wedding in “Sex in the City 2.” There were swans, a gay men’s chorus, and Liza. While that scene was gayer than gay, it won’t touch what these people will come up with. Now, Hollywood set designers and celebrity makeup artists can marry each other. We will have the kinds of weddings that those against marriage equality were afraid we were going to have. Drag queens, lashes, glitter, feathers, sequins, and Liza. It will be big, showy, and fabulous. (They’re really just mad because they know they won’t be invited.)

Meanwhile, on the northern end of Nevada, lesbians will get married in the Reno/Tahoe area. You’ve got a big lake, mountains, water conservation, trees, boarding, bears, and beers. There are also casinos, roadside chapels, and wineries. This is Lesbian Paradise. People will host wedding/camping trips with their softball team.

The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, capitalizing on the “Wedding Capital of the World” reputation, already took out a full-page ad in USA Today. (You know when you put an ad in the nation’s newspaper, it is officially on.)

I am not making fun, I promise you. Look at me. I ran off and eloped with my wusband last year. Now I’m planning THE wedding for next year with four days of events including sunset crab boils on the beach, dance parties, and celesbians. I am as thrilled as everyone else watching all of these people getting their moment. I love weddings. I became an officiant to get a front-row view at my friends’ weddings.

Regardless of what kind of wedding you have, please have one if you are so inclined. Invite as many people who are important to you to witness it. Then you can hit the slots and the tables. The only thing I ask? If possible, please take pictures and send them to me. I can’t wait to see them. I love a family wedding.