From the Editor: OFM February 2021

I hate Valentine’s Day.

It’s not that I’m single, or that I’ve been recently hurt in love. Nor is it that I’m generally asexual or aromantic. I just hate the holiday. So this year, I am doing a lot of self-reflection (who isn’t?) about why I don’t like certain things, including Valentine’s Day.  

It seems like it boils down to some basic truths. It’s not love that I don’t love. It’s the marketable, mainstream version of Valentine’s Day—the idea that couples, usually straight, cis, white, slim, traditionally attractive couples—are perfect and happy and need a sappy, perfect, happy, pink holiday to celebrate their traditional love. For the same reason, I’m not a big fan of weddings.  

I submit that love is not like that. It’s not perfect, not clean, not always monogamous, not easy to figure out, and certainly not always straight, cis, white, slim, and traditionally attractive. The Valentine’s Day we’re being sold is a lie, but love itself is something to celebrate. It’s a lot more than that.  

I’d like to submit the same thing about the theme of this issue, Love is Love. Often, the phrase gets brushed off because it’s associated with first-wave gay rights, lobbying for two men to get married. But I think it really means a lot more than a way to sell gay rights to traditional, straight people. 

Not all love is between two people, and not everyone craves romantic, monogamous, or committed love. Trans folks, people of color, plus-sized people, and everyone who doesn’t fit the mainstream mold, are deserving of love, be that romantic, platonic, or just plain admiration. 

So, with all that in mind, I’d like to take a different approach to the issue this year. While yes, this celebrates love, it’s love of all kinds, from self-love and self-expression to relationships of all kinds, in all forms. Here are some looks at love is all kinds, and a challenge, that love is love means more than you think it does. 

-Addison Herron-Wheeler