For World Aids Day, remember that vigilance is a gift

Several years ago, my friends and I — who share the experience of surviving HIV/AIDS as a terminal illness — began calling each other up on December 1, World AIDS Day, and congratulating each other on still being alive. Sometimes it’s done with a touch of gallows humor, with greetings like “Happy Disease Day!” or maybe just a simple, “We made it another year, who knew?” Still, there’s always a bittersweet awareness of friends who did not survive. We always acknowledge that there’s no virtue in having survived. We don’t minimize the efforts in remaining compliant with medications that have saved our lives, nor our gratitude for the advances in science that we’ve witnessed since 1981. And we also know that there seems to be an element of luck. On this one day each year, we’re sure to say, “I’m glad to be alive, and I’m glad you’re alive, too.” We also contact people who don’t have the HIV/AIDS virus living in their bodies, but whose acts of loyalty, activism, and solidarity constitute heroism. We who are alive and affected by this disease in any way are all survivors.

World AIDS Day is a kind of holiday, a time to celebrate, to gather, to remember, and to commit. It hasn’t become commercialized or commodified. More people than ever are  living with HIV/AIDS. Newly infected people need communities of support where they’re not judged for their mistakes but reinforced in the changes they are making that will allow them to lead productive lives. In the late 80s, our late friend Paul Francis held a party each year on the anniversary of his diagnosis to celebrate the new awareness of life that this diagnosis brought. He found Hallmark invitation cards that featured a frog sitting on a lily pad with the caption, “Party till you croak!” Some found his merriment in poor taste. He reminded them that homosexuals have long determined taste, and that he just wanted people to celebrate that he was glad to be alive. We celebrated with him for three successive years until he died. These holidays with the families of our choosing meant more to us than Thanksgiving or Christmas spent with biological families, and many of us were not welcome at those gatherings anyway because we were gay. Thankfully, fewer people experience that level of stigma today, though many religious groups still judge the people most affected by HIV/AIDS. They may be open-minded enough to have our funerals, but they still don’t celebrate our weddings.

Let’s observe World AIDS Day as a holiday that begins the month of holidays. Our own City of Denver has adopted an ambitious and achievable goal of ending HIV/AIDS by 2030. Through December, Christians will light Advent wreaths in expectation of the birth of Love made Flesh. Jews will light Chanukah candles for eight nights, celebrating the miracle of Providence. Pagans of many stripes will gather on the solstice, the longest night of the year, and kindle flames to evoke the returning of the light. Many African-Americans and their allies will light candles at Kwanzaa, especially important in this year of increased awareness that Black Lives Matter.

World AIDS Day is our contribution to this season. Light candles of memory and of hope this year.

You are invited to celebrate World AIDS Day on 7pm, December 1, at Metropolitan Community Church. AIDS Quilts from the NAMES Project will be on display. Send pictures of loved ones to be remembered in a slide presentation with their names and yours to jswitzer.mccr@gmail.com.