Focused on the negative

Our rich gay history is filled with adverse situations that have been best met by mobilizing our bodies, minds, and voices in protest. As true injustices have been a part of our culture, our brothers and sisters have unified to influence social change and have allowed us to continue moving forward in our efforts towards equality. These types of demonstrations were about strengthening our community, not just because a few people disagree with a philosophy, policy or business.

I remembered so many gay pride events where a group of people stood there with their signs letting me know that they aren’t supportive of my sinful lifestyle and that I will most likely burn in hell. Those people utilize their right to free speech, but I have always questioned their motives. I doubt that they really think their influence is going to change my decision to make out with hot guys.

Many times, these people gain some misguided internal power from feeling like they have some influence over a situation, are arrogant enough to think that their perception is the only correct choice, controlling other people’s feelings, or causing drama to occur around them. These people may also not have logical reasons for getting involved other than to develop something for them to do.

Unfortunately, these people tend to attract others of like-minded negativity or those who are looking for some drama-of-the-moment to support. Some of these people aren’t even out in the public and lurk in the shadows to grab their signs of protest, cause a ruckus, and then retreat back to the shadows. Others seem to find injustice in many places or may just be looking for the next cause to jump on. Many of these people have extremely loud voices of disdain and may become addicted to finding faults where ever they can. They could also choose to spend their energies doing good things for people around them or develop ways to make their environment or communities stronger.

This negativity may be expressed to individuals in different ways throughout our community. There are those who see a friend’s new relationship as an opportunity to remind them that men are dogs, will probably never be faithful, and to enjoy the brief relationship as long as possible before it falls apart. These are also the people that will turn a great party full of fun people into an opportunity to complain about the quality of the food or be critical of their décor.

Be careful about turning into one of those mean girls that we all joke about in our social circles or running to get behind their angry protests. There will always be things around us that we don’t like. Hopefully those overly negative people who constantly complain are not kept in our lives, blocked on Facebook, walked away from when they engage us, or called “Pappa GrumpyPants” when they take up our time with pointless bitching. There is also nothing wrong with standing up to those who attempt to influence our days and pull us into their sticky web of negativity. Tell them that you are choosing to enjoy your time in the sun to participate in all of the wonderful things around us.