Five things to consider before committing for life

Are you feeling like you might be ready to settle down? Mazel tov — but make sure you are both on the same page before you sign paperwork, buy a house together, or sell of our your belongings and travel the world as a couple.

#1 Can you make your communication skills match? It’s easy to say “they just get me so well,” but what happens when you come across a miscommunication or difference of opinions? What if one of you communicates verbally and processes on the spot, while the other is more of a quiet, internal processor, who communicates through writing? Make sure you can get onto the same wavelength in order to move both of your needs and wants forward.

#2 Do you both have a vested interest in compromising? You don’t have to plan our your entire life with your love today before you ride off into the sunset, but make sure you’re both willing to meet somewhere in the middle and form an equal partnership. One of you loves cats, the other loves dogs; can you have one of each, or both live without pets? You love high-rise city living, your partner wants to start a goat farm in Grand Junction — how will you have a conversation in which both of you feel heard and validated with the end result?

#3 Have the money talk. A big issue couples have is pretending money doesn’t matter and love will solve it all. Even if it is just deciding whether you’ll have a joint account or keep separate finances, or figuring out who pays for cable and who pays for groceries, make sure the two of you have conversations about money before it’s time to file taxes and drop a deposit on your new place.

#4 Establish some “ground rules” to keep you close. Whether you’ve been together six weeks, six years or six decades, it’s important to lay groundwork for loving up on one another. If you have a fight, how will you reconnect? When you’re both busy with life, when will you fit in date night? How will you celebrate accomplishments and milestones? Make sure you are ready to keep caring for each other and re-connecting long term.

#5 Make sure you’re ok being together and alone. Being in a couple can feel like a full time job, but it’s also important to have time for yourself. Have a conversation about what “me time” looks like for each of you, and how to gently tell the other when you need that self-care. If you’re already cohabiting, touch base with each other to make sure those needs are getting met, and that each half of your power couple is just as strong as an individual.