Ask the Sexpert: girlfriend’s voyeuristic cat

Dear Shanna,

My girlfriend is obsessed with her cat to the extent that she refused to let me lock her furry friend out of the bedroom while we are going to get down and dirty. This really creeps me out; it’s like the cat is watching us, waiting till we’re done to come and cuddle. I know she’s really connected with her pet, so I’m not sure how to bring it up. Ideas?

— Not Partial to Her Pussy, Washington Park

Dear “Not Partial to Her Pussy,”

You’re going to get two answers here; one from me as a pet lover, and one from me a sexologist. As a lover of all things furry and with several cats of my own, I say what’s the big deal? If they jump on the bed, push them off. It comes with the territory of letting animals into your life.

From a relationship-supportive perspective, it sounds like it is time for some compromise. What is it that bothers you about the cat? Is it having it in the bedroom at all, having it watching you, or just when it jumps on the bed? Are there ways around it that don’t mean locking it out completely?

What happens if you do shut the door? Will the cat just hang out quietly or will you be doing the two person tango to cries of “meOOOOOOOOW” the whole time?

Bring it up gently — not “I want the cat out!” but something like “It’s really hard to focus on going down on you when I can feel feline eyes on the back of my head — do you have any suggestions?” Create a plan — maybe the kitty gets fed, or a few extra treats, to encourage it to stay out. Maybe there is a special “sexy time” toy that makes an appearance when you want to distract the cat.

Worse case scenario? There’s cat in the bedroom. Animals (dogs too) are attracted to human sex scents (perhaps gross, but true), and of course animals always go where you least want them to be. If a voyeur with whiskers is the biggest challenge with your sex life, it sounds to me like you have an overall pretty-satisfying one.

— Shanna