Exclusive: Steff Mahan on love, her musical journey and staying grateful

With a sweet, soulful sound and a pure, powerful voice, alternative country singer Steff Mahan’s lyrics speak to the heart and emotional truth that we all know. Out Front got the opportunity to sit and chat with her about her new album, living an authentic life and what it means to be a “kidney friend.”

How’s the new album going? This will be your fourth, right? 

It’s great, yes. I’m really taking my time with the writing. This is going to be a good record. I think I’ve grow up a lot since my first one.

Mahan is raising money for the album by giving people the opportunity to donate on PayPal or purchase items from her Wasala/Facebook page.

Why did you decide to do it this way?

When your friends and people that hardly know you can believe in your music and like your music and give you money because you know, money’s hard to come by for anybody – and when they give you $10 or $100 or whatever they can do, you’re just a little bit more cautious [with the money], and there’s a little bit more love in the studio. You know what I mean? It’s kind of more a labor of love when it happens that way, I think.

Makes sense, you haven’t been doing this that long though. This is kind of a new journey for you right? 

It kind of is. I mean, I’ve always wanted to do it, but I was always too afraid just to jump off, ya know?

And when I hit 40, I was like, you know I’m not getting any younger. I don’t want my last words to be, I wish I would have. So, I just kind of jumped off and just did it … I just kind of do it anyway, and the Universe takes care of me.

The first step can be the scariest.

People’s biggest fear is money and being able to survive doing what you love.

Before I came to Nashville, I worked in advertising and made a lot of money. Then I got offered my first songwriting gig. I quit my money-making advertising gig and moved to Nashville to make $150 per week. That was my first scary step. I was scared because I didn’t have a “real” job. Then my father said, “You know, Steffi, you’ve always wanted to do this. It’s better having a good life than a good living…so just do it.” I always thought that was a great quote, so then I was like, OK.

I said I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks, as long as my mom and dad believe in me, I can make it. That’s all you need. They just let me do what I was born to do, I think. Sometimes I wish I wanted to be an accountant, but I didn’t want to be an accountant. I wanted to be a songwriter, so I just did it.

How old were you when you came out?

I mean, I have always been gay. But my parents found out when I was like 26. I was living out [in Denver]. And my parents met my first girlfriend, and they loved her. My parents [were religious], they also love their kids, and they want us to be happy. And they’ve never believed that God wants us to be miserable. I think they’ve always known about me, even when I was a kid. They just assumed that I was going to be different.

I’m closer to my family than I’ve ever been. And I can share with them when I have a broken heart. I don’t have to hide.

Right on, that’s the way it should be! 

You know sometimes, as gay people, we don’t treat it like it’s a “normal” relationship. You know, holidays get split up, I go to my parents’, she goes to her parents’. Instead of just saying, “No, we’re a family, and we spend holidays together.” We don’t treat ourselves like a normal couple. We don’t have joint bank accounts. We do that sometimes to our own selves, like we’re less a couple than Joe and Jane Smith from down the street. We have to just be a regular couple.

It’s about living an authentic life at home and at work, don’t you think? 

Yeah, you know when I had a regular 9 to 5 job, there were these girls at work, and they were like this little work clique, you know. And they asked me to join their group. And I was like [happy voice], ‘Oh, I’m so excited. The girls asked me out.’ And so, we go out and they say, ‘OK tell us something about yourself that we don’t know, Steph.’ And I didn’t think anyone knew I was gay. So, that’s what I said. And one of the girls said, ‘Oh whatever, we knew you were a big old dyke. That’s why we asked you to be in our group. We have a Jew. We have a Catholic. And now we have a dyke.’ And then she says, ‘Now we’re looking for a really cute Chinese girl. Do you know one?’ 

You’ve got great friends.

I am so lucky. I’ve got, I call them kidney friends. You know, people who could call you and say, ‘Hey, I need a kidney.’ And you’re like, ‘OK.’ I feel very privileged to be that friend you call at 3 a.m. in the morning. It means I’m the kind of friend I want to be. I like knowing that I’m a friend like that. It’s flattering.

So, this album is really a labor of love for you and the people contributing to this album?

This is a really grateful album, I think. When we lost [my first girlfriend], it really hit me hard. So there are going to be some songs about missing love … how grateful I am that I had something so wonderful in my life to miss. There are songs about forgiveness, forgiving ourselves and each other. And being grateful every day for everything I have.

Mahan will be performing at 7 p.m., Oct. 19 at Eden Bar & Cuisine Lounge, 3090 Downing St. More info/tickets.