Etsy sex toy shop debuts ‘Pokémoan’ dildos

No, you didn’t misread that. Yes this is a thing that exists. Yes it comes with a Pikachu butt plug, which would give you the same tail as the little yellow guy, so you can really feel connected as you walk eighteen miles to catch another blue rat.

All joking aside, the people behind GeekySexToys on Etsy knows how to cater to a niche market.

Since it’s debut on July 6, Pokémon Go has been illuminating our phones and getting people into our parks in waves. This game has captivated millions, and the queer community is no different. You can catch Pokémon while dancing at Tracks or cruising at Trade. M Uptown offered free shots for anyone who joined #TeamValor and became a Pokéstop. Facebook groups have even been formed so queers can share progress and game tricks.

In less than a month, GeekySexToys released four new toys that are both hilarious, and a little disturbing …

Introducing our new range of Pokémoan sex toys! Become the ultimate Pokémoan master with your new silicone friends. Let your imagination run wild as you play under the sheets. Choose your new companion wisely, the pokésex data below has all the information you will need.

The dildos are only being sold as a package deal and are based off of four very familiar Pokémon:

° ’Bulby’ – A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.

° ‘Charmy’ – A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.

° ‘Squirty’ – A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.

° ‘Piky’ – This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

Although each product goes through rigorous quality control, they are handmade and therefore may have minor imperfections. And yes, these toys are used for sex, not just novelty. The products at Geeky Sex Toys are made out of the most appropriate materials such as skin safe silicone. Silicone can take some abuse, but like anything soft it can tear. With care taken, this item can last for a very long time.

Also, check out some of their other sex toys, which include Sailor Moon toys and some light sabers.