Drinking the Fountain of Womanhood

Sculpted physiques worked to the pinnacle of Adonis-inspired perfection. A generous dusting of thick hair that covers the body from head to heel. Modern swagger that struts the catwalk between arrogance and charm. Baseball hats with brims flatter than Tahmoh Penikett’s stomach and beards grown lush like well-tended gardens.

Masculinity has the gay community clenched tight in its thick fist and seems to have no intention of letting go, but that doesn’t mean my gay brethren and I can’t learn from the women in our lives. While it’s important for gay men to have open and honest discussions with each other in order to learn, it’s equally vital that we balance our education by taking a lesson from the women in our lives.

You Taught Me How to Be Free

My friend Grace would be considered a free spirit with a dash of 60s hippie sensibility about her. She’s one of the most open and loving people I know, and those traits have slowly worked their way into my heart over the 13 years I’ve known her. She’s also shown me how to make people feel welcome in my home as well as my heart, proving that home is most definitely where the heart is. I also have Grace to thank for showing me that it’s okay to make decisions based on instinct rather than logic.

You Taught Me How to Be a King

Shareese is a powerful black queen standing and singing tall at her throne and reigning over a kingdom of her own creation. As a modern black woman, her experience is a reflection of mine as a black gay man. She’s taught me to embrace who and what I am and to dig through the trials and tribulations heaped upon us to magnify the true history of our culture and acknowledge what it truly means to be African-American rather than simply “black.”

You Taught Me How to Be a Nurturing Warrior

Jamie, Carrie Lynn, and Andrea are three women, three feminists, and three true friends. They’ve taught me how to be an opinionated and outspoken individual with a nurturing spirit. I have no doubt that Wonder Woman would be the result of combining these three women. These warriors have also taught me how to be a true friend, one who stays with you through arguments, misunderstandings, significant others, and the storms of life. These three women have shown me how to give my everything to the people who are the most important in my life.

You Taught Me How to Be Openly Vulnerable

Another of my friends, who I’ll refer to as E, taught me how to turn and face the psychological and emotional damage done to me in the past, acknowledge it for what it is, and draw strength from it. It’s easy to use our mental and emotional scars as excuses for certain behaviors and negative personality traits, but E has shown me those scars should instead be transmuted into fuel to keep the heart and mind going when we want to shut down. In a way, she taught me how to be an alchemist.

While I may enjoy looking at men, I enjoy thinking and growing with women. The women in my life have made me a better man, a better writer, and a better human being. And for that, I’ll always be grateful to them.