Drag Queens Are Not Groomers

Drag is not a threat! 

Drag performance is not a form of grooming, and drag performers are not pedophiles. Are there groomers and sexual offenders within LGBTQ communities? Of course, but not at the rates of heterosexual populations. The current sociopolitical bravado of conservatives to try to remain relevant in the upcoming presidential election is grasping at straws. Targeting drag and trans demographics as sources of harm for United States children is a smoke-and-mirrors attempt to deflect responsibility for the abuse being conducted in conservative value-based institutions like churches, The Boy Scouts, schools, and in conservative-traditional homes. And don’t you worry, there are receipts.

What is Drag?

Drag is an art form, period. It is an art form that spans cultures and countries dating back to ancient Greece and Egypt. Drag is iconic in Japanese Kabuki theater and is well documented in Shakespearean times. Drag is an art form utilized in various forms of art, performance, entertainment, and history. In contemporary contexts, this is still true, and just like other forms of art and entertainment, there are levels of appropriateness for children. There are genres like drag story hour, public performances, and community events that are child-appropriate, LGBTQ-affirming opportunities.

Also, kids love drag performances; they’re fun, camp, and beautiful (well… when done well). And oh my God, shocker alert, parents have to use their discretion of appropriateness for what their kids engage in?!?!?! Who would have thought that was a part of being a parent? Drag within burlesque and nightclub settings are not appropriate for children. The same goes for other forms of entertainment kids engage with: music, movies, and video games. But nothing about forms of drag entertainment inherently participate in grooming or pedophilia.

Clearing the Air

For over five years, my therapy practice centered on working with survivors and perpetrators of sexual abuse, assault, and violence. I am an expert in defining pedophilia and grooming behaviors, and it’s definitively not drag performance.

What is Pedophilia, actually? 

Pedophilia disorder, by definition in the diagnostic and statistical manual, is pathologized by the pervasive and persistent recurrent intense sexual arousal, fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with prepubescent children or children generally under 13 years old. The individual has acted on sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty. Someone who lives with pedophilia does not feel a sense of guilt, shame, or anxiety about their impulses.

What is a Groomer or Grooming?

 The term “groomer,” by psychological understanding, speaks to the emotional and psychological abuse targeted by a perpetrator of sexual and physical harm toward a victim. Grooming is demonstrated when someone presents with red flag behavior for abuse: rushing and forcing trust, secrecy, lying, and presenting a perfect image, along with other behaviors to manipulate and isolate a target—someone who is intentionally calculating a way to build a trusting relationship to violate them. Grooming intends to manipulate and exploit its targets. A groomer is someone in a position to be trusted and to have authority over vulnerable populations like children.

The Receipts

In 2019, the archdiocese released more than 5,100 clergy members’ names who were credibly accused of sexual abuse. Two thousand of those clergy members are still alive, and “nearly 1,700 priests and other clergy members that the Roman Catholic Church considers credibly accused of child sexual abuse are living under the radar with little to no oversight from religious authorities or law enforcement. Additionally, 10% of Protestant churchgoers under 35 have previously left their church because they felt sexual misconduct was not taken seriously. Outside of a religious context, “tens of thousands (84,000) of people who say they were sexually abused while in the Boy Scouts and filed suit against the Boy Scouts of America have reached an $850 million settlement, the largest in a child sexual abuse case in United States history.” Statistically, 93% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are someone already in their life, and 34% of childhood sexual abuse perpetrators are family members, 59% are acquaintances, and 7% are strangers.

The issue here is not drag performance or the LGBTQ community. It is the fragility of cis-hetero-patriarchy. The call is coming from within the house. Conservatives are deflecting responsibility for harm done within “traditional family value” institutions and contexts and are projecting blame on drag performance and the trans communities because, to them, our communities are an easy target.

Shadow Projection

From a traditional, psychological perspective, “Projections are images we have of others, which are generated by the psyche and based in our own fears, desires, impulses, and unresolved issues, most of which are unconscious…. While the most obvious example of projection is seeing our own shadow traits.” Our shadows are all of the aspects of ourselves that we cannot bear to witness or hold. For conservatives, this can easily be seen as gender diversity, self-awareness, and self-expression outside gender roles and binarism. Shadow material comprises memories of deep shame, guilt, and remorse. Other types of shadow material are things deemed culturally unacceptable, along with aspects of ourselves that do not align with how we present socially while adhering to normative values. There are individual shadows, and there are cultural shadows. Everything has a shadow. I have a shadow, you have a shadow, families have a shadow, and so do our communities, religions, and cultures.

Recap: Defining Drag

As a therapist and a psychologically oriented person, what’s most frustrating about the current political agenda targeting drag performance and gender affirmation is that it fails to protect children at risk. Projecting the cultural shadow of sexual abuse actually taking place in heteronormative contexts onto drag performances and gender education leaves tens of thousands of children in patterns of abuse and vulnerable to harm. Yet drag is the issue? Suppose these conservative cisgender-heterosexual parents are so concerned about their children, why are they not looking to the institutions they participate in and call accountability to the people who, statistically at higher rates, are harming their children?

Bigots

To all the anti-drag and transphobic bigots, go to therapy and deal with your shit. The statistics support this. The highest rates of child molestation and rape occur within heteronormative contexts, not queer ones. Especially not drag shows or at the hands of transgender individuals. The heteronormative ignorance in this current anti-drag and anti-trans legislation is evident in their confusion and convolution of trans individuals with drag performers. This further illuminates how untrustworthy these community leaders and legislators are for leading conversations around trans issues and drag performance.

Cultural Shadow

According to Weisstub and Galili-Weisstub,  When the cultural shadow is recognized as part of oneself, it is also easier to recognize that both sides of a cultural conflict may be threatened, wounded, and suffering… This recognition of cultural shadow could lead to a more comprehensive cultural understanding. A culture which can incorporate and accept shadow aspects of its identity as well as idealized aspects, is more likely to be ‘collectively individuated’ and socially responsible. It’s important to point out that for most people arguing against drag performance, it’s evident that this is not about exposing children to sexually explicit content. The issue concerns exposing kids to gender expression of gender expansion and diversity. However, someone living within cisgender-hetero-patriarchal privilege can’t see this because it is their shadow. They have been socialized to repress gender-expansive expression and don’t have to question themselves as much as queer populations have.

 So, really quick, let’s take things that these conservatives hate about drag performance and place it within the context of objectifying cisgender straight female performers. It is socially acceptable for children to see examples of hypersexualized women all the time, such as cheerleaders, Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, and pop stars, and go inside a Hooters! This is happening all the time right now and will continue without it being a problem. It’s not questioned because it affirms patriarchal values. And in these traditional, hypersexualized situations, children are exposed to and praised for engaging in sexual exploitation.

The call is coming from inside the house…

To simplify, children are not allowed access to drag performances with this level of sexualization because they occur within bars and settings that are 18-plus. But you have a problem with drag queens who are just as clothed and harmless as a circus clown reading a book to a child. That’s the elephant in the room. It’s easier to cast your shadow upon others than to address and do your inner work. Regarding conservatives attacking drag performance, it’s embarrassing how much they do not see within themselves. The cracks in the facade of cis-heteropatriarchy are showing. Conservative girlies, the call is coming from inside the house; it’s time to pick up the phone.