Dixie Longate, queen of Tupperware, returns to Denver

Dixie Longate is back. After a successful run at the Garner Galleria Theatre last winter, the tupperware queen returns to the Mile High City July 27. Same time, same place.

Critics and audiences have howled with laughter as Dixie throws a good ol’ fashioned Tupperware Party filled with outrageously funny tales, heartfelt accounts, FREE giveaways, audience participation and the most fabulous assortment of Tupperware ever sold on a theater stage. Loaded with the most up-to-date products available for purchase, Ms. Longate will share how she became the number one Tupperware seller in the world as she educates her guests on the many alternative uses she has discovered for her plastic products.

But before Mizz Longate takes to the stage to pimp her Tupperware, she spoke with Out Front Colorado’s David Marlowe about her return.

I am one of Les Miserables who was unable to get to see you at The Garner Galleria on the first time around. I will be there the second.  And don’t they say it’s better the second time around.

Absolutely!

When is the movie coming out?

The movie? Well I don’t know. Angelina would have to play me.

From what I have heard you deserve a wider audience.

You are just sweeter than poop. I just want to get from one end of you to the other. I could just eat you alive. I would just start lickin’ on your legs and just go right on up.

What?

I got started on this kind of thing because of my television set.

What?

Well, you know when you’re watching Oprah and it’s a bad episode and you put peanut butter on your leg and the dog just starts licking on your leg. We can get lots of ideas from our four footed friends.

Yes, of course. What about an opera? What would that be like?

Well, I’m extremely good in the shower, but I’m not like Celine Dion who opens her mouth and heaven comes out.

I’ve heard the show is complete pandemonium. Can you tell me how you do it?

I don’t know about pandemonium. Everybody gets happy and laughs and smiles and has fun … unless something is wrong with them. If something is wrong with those people they need to get government funding. At the very least they should have a couple jello shooters.

What’s a jello shooter?

You’ve never had a jello shooter? You’re life’s not complete until you’ve had a jello shooter. After a few jello shooters you may make some bad choices though. Be careful about that. According to Bill Cosby there’s always room for Jello. Even in church services.

But what is it?

It’s Jello with the water taken out and vodka put in.

Sounds good. Tell me what it is that really turns your crank about Tupperware, Dixie.

Tupperware is the best stuff on the planet. It’s been here for 65 years. And it lasts forever. When I see Tupperware it reminds me of my Grandma, who I never knew. And it reminds me of my Mom, who I do know. Every day she wakes up with a smile and we all just start throwin’ Tupperware around. I have Tupperware in every single room of my trailer. Most of it’s in the kitchen, but I even have it in the bedroom. Sometimes there are things that only Tupperware can keep fresh and clean. And I will tell you what! When I get to Denver you just hit me on the top of the head and say I am David Marlowe and we will have a jello shooter. That’s a guarantee. But only after I show you all the uses for my special Tupperware, handsome.

Well, I am sure that lots of my readers will be lining up to see your show, Dixie.

Well, yay-ess! Homosexuals like to have fun, too!

Dixie’s Tupperware Party plays Wednesdays through Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday and Sundays at 2 p.m. July 27 through August 21. Tickets are available at www.denvercenter.org.