Dining In

Dear Shanna,

We’re trying to spice up our sex life, so I’m working at coming up with some creative ideas. I’m thinking the kitchen could be an awesome spot to get it on. Any tips?

Eating Out in Littleton.

Dear Eating Out,

The kitchen sounds fantastic, and is an easy way to add pizazz to a sex life that might be feeling a bit routine. Here are some things to think about before you clear off the counters and boink like bunnies.

Beware of sugars! If one of you happen to have a vulva, this is crucial. You know in all those movies where someone puts on a whipped cream bikini, or they use chocolate syrup to write all over each other’s bodies? In reality, that can be a yeast infection waiting to happen. If you place anything with sugar near a vulva, lick off all those delicious sugars, and immediately continue to go down on your partner, a trip to the GYN will be next on the menu. Consider either purchasing sugar-free versions of these sex-cessories, or stay above the waist with them, drinking a few sips of water to de-sugar your mouth before you head down to dine at the Y.

Temperature play is where it is at! Did you know they make vibrators you can freeze into ice cubes to create vibrating ice? And ice dildos you can pop in the freezer? Plus, toys that are made of materials like steel, aluminum, glass, or ceramic can be ideal for warming up or cooling down (don’t put these IN the freezer; just place in a bowl of ice water or hot water to prevent frostbite or third-degree burns!). Slide ice all over the body, or even in the body (pro tip: if you “lose” it inside of someone, it is no biggie, since it will melt into nothing). Again, be wary of things like popsicles that may contain sugar. Bonus: If you have granite or other stone countertops, these cool down quite nicely too!

If you’re going to use produce to put inside of someone, I’d encourage you to use a condom unless you buy exclusively organic (hey, if people are worried about eating pesticides, I don’t think your naughty bits will take well to them either). If you’re using something anally, don’t forget to carve a base into your carrot or homegrown zucchini — a trip to the ER will ruin your kitchen fun.

Get creative with kitchen supplies! If you’re into spankings, the world is your oyster. Try out wooden spoons, spatulas, even cutting boards to try out new sensations while getting your butt beaten. More into sensation play? The tines of a fork, the scratch of steel wool, the cool drip of almond milk, designs drawn by a skewer, the tickle of a basting brush — there are all sorts of delightful options to use here.

Just remember to check in and communicate, so if your partner has a fear of being impaled by a cucumber or is “so over the kitchen” having just cooked in it for the entire week, your plans don’t fizzle out.

Best of luck!

Shanna