Cycle Sluts: Stay home and use your Webcam like everybody else

Dear Cycle Sluts,
I think I’m being stalked. How can I be sure, and if I am then what do I do about it?
Signed, “Somebody’s Watching Me”

Winnie Bego: Stop! Turn around, look and see if I’m behind you. Am I?
Bea Dazzle: I’m confused, you don’t want to be stalked? Well, then stop dating married men, just come back to the park and we’ll take care of you, you paranoid bitch!
Freeda Fondle: Gurl you would know if I was stalking you. Now get out of my stall, I’m working.
Zoey Diddim: Hello Miss Vain. It is not all about you. If you don’t know, then you aren’t.
Juana Mann: Oh no was my glitter sparkling too brightly in the bushes? First open your curtains a little more and stop putting the sprinklers on just before you go to bed.
Diane Tolickya: Just be thankful there’s someone who wants to clean the cobwebs out of your nasties; go get him gurl!
Molotovia Cocktail: You are not being stalked. I just think you’re cute. Invite me in!
Rolonda Flor: Just leave your door unlocked and wait in your bedroom naked. When he sees how small your penis is he’ll run away laughing just like I did.
Sassy Squatch: Poodle, if you don’t want to be watched and followed I’d suggest you stop doing the J.O. shows at the bath house. Stay home and use your webcam like everyone else.
Eden Cox: I told you in all 57 messages I left you I’m not stalking you. Someone else must have put your bunny in that boiling water.

Dear Cycle Sluts,
My husband of 10 years was in a bad accident. Now that his recovery is finishing up he’s become a born-again drag queen. There wasn’t any of this behavior before! I’m at a loss, what can I do?
Signed, “Accidental Awakening”

Freeda: Pimp his ass out on Colfax. You’ve got to pay your medical bills, right?
Zoey: Suck it up and know you are the husband of a diva. Now get me another drink Fred.
Molotovia: Buy him some shoes and jewelry. Do you know how expensive it is to look this cheap?
Winnie: Oh Honey, that WAS one bad accident! I can take him shopping.
Juana: Learn how to style a wig and do makeup. Just think of all the exercise you’ll get carrying his purse and lugging his crap around.
Eden: Honey, just be happy the accident didn’t involve certain body parts where he would be forced to become an actual woman.
Rolonda: There were signs, you just missed them. His obsession with glee, shiny shirts and having his hair pulled during sex.
Bea: I know that the most important part of my PT was walking in six-inch heels. I wasn’t allowed to move on until I could walk and get back up off my knees without scuffing the toes. How’s this a problem? You’ll double your wardrobe, or is he to skinny to share?
Diane: More power to him! Start sewing and head to the store, Momma’s out of glitter.
Sassy: Just roll with it, Sweetie. At least he has a head start. Most drag queens just look like they were in a terrible accident, your husband really was.

On the Web at http://denvercyclesluts.net. Keep questions coming to AskASlut@gmail.com!