Critic’s Choice: Top ten must see summer concerts

The only thing better than a concert is a summer concert. And the Out Front Colorado music critic Tiger H. Lore has the Top 10 must see jams of the season.

No. 10) Panic At The Disco
When: 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, June 28
Where: Ogden Theatre, Denver
www.ticketmaster.com ($25-$28)
Panic At The Disco is a phenomenal post-punk band. Combined with the Ogden Theatre’s personal (and borderline claustrophobic) setting, this concert will be to die for. I mean that in a good way. But seriously, be prepared to rock. Wear close-toed shoes. Do not bring a purse or wear loose jewelry. And for mosh’s sake, remember the 6 Golden Mosh Rules:

1. If someone falls, help them up.
2. If someone wants out, help them get out.
3. If someone drops something (a purse, a shoe, a purple dildo), help them retrieve it. NEVER EVER steal in a mosh-pit.
4. Remember that a true mosh-pit maintains an aura of exhilarated camaraderie. Never intend to hurt a comrade, and never mosh with excessive force or anger.
5. Respect everyone’s personal boundaries. Just fucking respect people.
6. Help make every mosh-pit an enjoyable, epic experience for all mosh-kind.

No. 9) Cake
When: 8 p.m., June 13 – 14
Where: Ogden Theatre, Denver
www.stubhub.com ($35)
Cake is legendary. They are a foundation stone for the ska genre. This is the concert that future generations will drool over when you tell them about it. The trumpets, rattles, washboards and megaphones will make your eardrums orgasm (it feels really weird). Cake is renowned for its’ concerts. So buy tickets soon or risk being sad.

No. 8 ) Kenny Chesney and Uncle Kracker
When: 7 p.m., July 6 –  8
Where: Red Rocks, Morrison
www.amphitheatremorrison.com ($77-$120)
Kenny Chesney rests in that rare category of country artists who appeal to people that even hate country. Chesney is a phenomenal poet. He manages to write deep meaningful songs that still catch listeners’ attention instantly. This feat is truly one of, if not the most difficult of all challenges in songwriting. Chesney makes it look easy.  If you want to go, buy tickets now. Booking a musician for three days at Red Rocks might seem excessive. But trust me, Chesney could sell an entire weeks worth of Red Rocks tickets in ten minutes flat. And that’s a liberal estimate.

No. 7) Goo Goo Dolls, Michelle Branch and Parachute
When: 7 p.m., Wednesday, August 17
Where: 1st Bank Center, Broomfield
www.centerbroomfield.com ($78-$102)
The Goo Goo Dolls’ first single, “Iris” skyrocketed them from the shambles of a dead-end town (Buffalo, NY) and into rock & roll stardom at light speed (scientists argue that it may have happened even faster). “Iris” glows somewhere near the top of my top ten favorite songs of all time. It expresses a profoundly complex human emotion with the punch of an atom bomb, and the cat-like finesse of a brain surgeon. Scientists have dedicated years of their lives to understanding how guitarist and vocalist John Rzeznik blends these elements together so well. This concert could provide valuable clues. Plus, Michelle Branch is amazing.

No. 6) Dispatch
When: 7 p.m., June 4 – 5
Where: Red Rocks, Morrison
www.ticketmaster.com ($50.75)
Dispatch is one of the most famous Colorado bands to encompass the ’90s. True, their acoustic folk sound is dated. Yet they still thrive within a sea of dedicated fans (we’re talking like Chewbacca’s life debt to Han Solo kind of dedication. This shit is weird.) If you have not seen Dispatch in concert, consider yourself lucky to have a chance. We almost lost them for good in 2002.

No. 5) Death Cab For Cutie and Frightened Rabbit
When: 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, August 23
Where: Red Rocks, Morrison
www.amphitheatrer.com ($47-$57)
Death Cab For Cutie is pure poetry. Lead vocalist, Ben Gibbard, seems to have discovered a way to see beyond the shadows in Plato’s cave. He weaves the essence of reality into his songs, and will forever persist in diving deeper (least until he drowns himself). If my shadow quivers on the cave wall someday, it will be because Ben Gibbard has ventured so far from the cave, he’s started knocking on the other side. Frightened Rabbit is also fantastic. So if you like Death Cab – I would check them out.

No. 4) Bright Eyes
When: 7 p.m., Sunday, June 5
Where: Filmore, Denver
www.auditoriumboxoffice.com ($54-$272)
Bright Eyes creator, Conor Oberst holds legendary status similar to that of Cake and Dispatch. The one difference is that Oberst is more than just the cornerstone of his genre. He is the architect. Oberst is widely credited for birthing the emo genre. If you know anything about emo, you will know that Oberst swears by all-natural birth. No painkillers. Oberst is committed to pure traditional agony. If agony pills existed, Oberst would be addicted. No, he is not a masochist. If you could turn agony pills into gold, you would gobble them down too. Oberst does exactly that with his lyrics. It is one hell of a talent. Some people call Oberst the Rumplestilskin of music. (Not really. But they should).

No. 3) Global Dance Festival
When: 5 p.m., July 15 – 16
Where: Red Rocks, Morrison
www.amphitheatrer.com ($101-$320)
The title explains itself. Global is a two-day dance festival. It is so insane, you will feel like everyone in the world is partying with you (everyone cool that is). If I had to describe Global using three words, I would choose: demented, hellya and vomit.

No. 2) k.d. lang and the Siss Boom Bang
When: Doors 6 p.m. / Show 7 p.m., Thursday, August 4
Where: Botanic Gardens, Denver
www.ticketcover.com ($140-$329)
Just freaking do it … Fine. Or don’t trust my word. K.d. lang’s concert abilities cannot be surpassed. Her voice is unfailing. It carries perfect pitch, resonance and emotion. If you think she is profound on her albums, you legitimately risk death upon witnessing this concert. Don’t believe me? Try sneaking up on a bunny rabbit wearing a werewolf mask and then suddenly blasting k.d. lang’s music into its’ ears. Bam. Dead. And if that shit can happen to a bunny …

No. 1)  Mumford & Sons
When: 6:30 p.m., June 15 – 16
Where: Filmore, Denver
www.stubhub.com ($99-$375)
Mumford & Sons have swept the world with the pace and ferocity only equivalent to meth and religious fundamentalism. However, unlike the obscenely stupid individuals who detonate themselves for their superstitions, the music of Mumford & Sons blows people’s shoes off with pure, controversial and chemically unstable enjoyment.
Mumford & Sons have founded a new sub-genre of folk. They have modified club pop’s thumping bass and slipped it casually into folk. Hence, Mumford & Sons appeals to party-seeking and soul-seeking listeners alike. It takes a genius to get these bipolar groups listening and loving one thing together. But it requires absolute brilliance to convince these groups (who equally hated the banjo) to not just listen to the banjo, but also reconsider it. A band that makes banjos rise from youth-culture’s designation of ‘hateful disgust’ to the international status of ‘seriously fucking cool’ is a band worth watching. I rest my case.

A Last Warning: I am not the only one who loves these bands. If you would like to see any of the Top Ten concerts, buy tickets now. Tickets will only get more expensive. Some may also sell out soon. The websites I recommended are good. But I encourage you to search around.

If tickets sell out – there will always be scalpers. Just don’t spend $100 on a bookmark merely pretending to be a ticket (and I speak from aged stupidity). No matter how much you wish it to become a ticket, your bookmark will still not pull a Pinocchio.

Good Luck.

This article has been updated to reflect the postponement of the Bright Eyes Concert. The band will now be playing Sunday, June 5.