For LGBTQ+ people, the holidays can at times be stressful, often evoking anxiety and depression. Living authentically brings added challenges with family, especially if you don’t feel safe being “out” or are not affirmed for who you are. This year, COVID-19 has added another level of hardships and complexities.
Whether you are having a family meal or interacting virtually, one of the first things you can do is make a commitment to yourself—you are important. Cultivate self-care every day. Take a walk. Do something you enjoy each day.
Practicing mindfulness can also be part of self-care. It can help give a grounded, in-the-moment feeling, diminishing anxiety, negative thoughts, frustration, impatience, and anger. Try sitting in a relaxed posture, feeling your body’s sensations. Take three long, deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try doing this exercise every day.
If you are feeling isolated, reach out to a friend or family member whom you feel safe with virtually or give them a call. COVID has left so many feeling alone. An important part of self-care is staying connected to others.
If you are going to spend time with family who may not be aware of your sexual orientation or gender identity, decide which family members you plan to be “out” to and how you plan to tell them. Do what is best for you. Whether that be a phone call or telling them in person, have a trusted ally available to support you.
If you plan to introduce your partner to your family, either in person or virtually, be prepared. If in-person, speak to your family ahead of time about sleeping arrangements. If a video or phone call is not going well, plan for what you will do. It is good to have boundaries and to surround yourself with those you trust and who affirm you.
It is OK to spend your holidays, virtually or in person, with friends and family who affirm and support you. If you have family members who are non-supportive, it is okay to not interact with those people until they are receptive and respectful of your authentic self.
If you need additional support, finding a mental health professional you trust is essential. Aurora Mental Health has some good options and is here to help. Call 303.617.2300, or visit aumhc.org.
