Conformity Will Be the Death of Me

You wear your hair buzzed short on the sides and swooped back up top in a slick business cut. You’ve grown out your beard to proper lumberjack proportions. You “lift heavy things” and make sure to post plenty of pictures on Instagram to make sure everyone knows you do in fact lift, bro. You’ve legally changed your name to Masculine. You wear vintage glasses with huge frames even though you have perfect vision. You finally fit in with a large percentage of the gay community.

In fact, you fit in a bit too well.

You look around at the bar or club and see lots of other guys with similar haircuts, beard styles, body types, and fashion senses. This should make it easier to fulfill your “#relationshipgoals,” right? Or will it only make you see a stranger every time you look in the mirror?

Reflection Rejection
While there’s no harm in following trends, there is harm in following those trends simply because you want to fit in or feel that doing so will improve your chances of finding a relationship. Gay dating profiles have become cluttered with phrases such as:

I like other masculine guys.

Must have a beard.

I like guys who know what the inside of a gym looks like.

I workout 5 to 6xs a week.

These are just preferences, but they’re prevalent preferences. While gay men may not be able to do anything about their race or physical features, they can at least look the part and make up for their perceived shortcomings with thick thighs, the right wardrobe, and full beards … if they can even grow full beards.

But the danger of conforming and compromising is that it can lead to a bit of an identity crisis.

Wait, What’s My Name Again?
By adopting a lifestyle and giving up your core identity and personality, you may be able to attract a partner, but that individual may end up falling in love with someone else who happens to inhabit your body. Sure, you may work out five times a week but hate every second of it. You may have an Instagram slathered with daily selfies but hate taking so many pictures of yourself. You may wear a bro cap with a flat brim but be more comfortable wearing a beanie. You do these things to attract and keep your partner, but how long will it be until your original operating system has been completely corrupted and overwritten? Are you as happy and as satisfied as you wanted to be before you started your transformation, or do you feel a gaping void inside?

I’m not saying the above scenario applies to every gay guy with these physical features and personality traits, but I wonder how many have adopted the lifestyle as a way to cure themselves of loneliness, dissatisfaction, and perceived flaws. I also wonder how long a person is able to keep up the ruse for the sake of false friendships and tainted love. Wearing such a mask is sure to wreck a person psychologically over an extended period of time. You may start to feel like a method actor embodying various trends instead of a single specific character.

It all boils down to this: Don’t camouflage. Don’t be afraid to try new looks and styles, but make sure they complement and raise your vibrational frequency, not drown it out with exterior static. Authenticity and knowledge of True Self is one of the most attractive features a person can have — don’t sacrifice it.