Condom Stigma and Shaming

Hey, Brent. There’s been a lot of press about PrEP and how it’s the most important advancement in the fight against HIV that has happened in many years. I began taking it about six months ago, but have decided that I still want to use condoms most of the time because I don’t want to get some other STD. Many people are telling me that I don’t need to use condoms anymore because everything other than HIV can be cured. I feel there are a lot of negative comments being made about people like me who still feel that using condoms is a good personal option. Am I being a prude and worrying too much or am I right?

Feel confident that you’re doing what’s right for you and your own sexual health. Like many others, I feel that Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) is the most important advancement in stopping the spread of HIV since the development of effective drug treatment for people living with HIV. In past years, medications have been created that are increasingly more effective in treating HIV with fewer side effects. Research has also shown that HIV+ people are significantly less likely to transmit HIV if they have undetectable levels of HIV in their bodies. The addition of PrEP to this fantastic arsenal of tools we have at our disposal is extremely fortunate and welcomed by many, but condoms can still play a very important role for many people.

I understand the excitement about regaining pleasure from our sexual life by removing the feelings of a rubber barrier between our skin and the flesh of the person moaning in front of us. There are people who feel that reducing the fear of contracting HIV takes away the concern of getting another sexually transmitted infection, but unwelcomed visitors like syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis, genital warts, and herpes can definitely put a damper on naked activities. When used correctly, condoms are still a good method of stopping the transmission of these.

It’s up to the individual to determine what risk-reduction methods are right for you. The sex you have and how you have it is a personal choice, but education is extremely important regardless of your position about using PrEP, condoms, both, or neither. Be aware of the risks associated with your activities; don’t just listen to what your buddy tells you or read random articles you found on the internet. Get out there and do some research on your own or talk to qualified health professionals.

More than anything else, don’t feel bullied into any actions. In a perfect world, we should all feel confident about our decisions without judgment from others, but of course everyone has their opinions. Recognize that PrEP is an amazing tool to help us stop the spread of HIV, and offers peace of mind for both the HIV-negative and those living with HIV by providing protection from transmitting the virus. This tool should help bring people together by reducing fear and stigma regarding HIV, but it has definitely caused some discord in our community. Being on PrEP doesn’t make you sexually invincible or give you the right to judge others for their sexual practices. Regardless of how you do it or the ways you choose to protect yourself, get lubed up and go for it. Hope you have fun.