Composing Her Own Destiny: Claire Heywood

This year was the year that I decided it was important for me to come out, and be honest and clear about the fact that I’m a queer woman,” Claire Heywood opens up in a conversation at the beginning of the new year. The singer-songwriter is preparing to release some new music, and for the record, she wants to be authentic in how she presents herself in both her personal life and in her professional realm. 

Heywood could have gone to any Denver-based media company to have this conversation, but she was intentional when she reached out to OFM. As a bisexual woman, she understands the need for nuance, the craving for deliberate-yet-thoughtful questions, considerate and open-minded curiosity, and the understanding that being queer isn’t all that she is. Yet, it is a lot of who she is, and she is inclined to share how she is navigating her own identity within the LGBTQ community.

“I’m a queer woman, and I’m also femme, and I’ve found that I have had the privilege of passing as hetero in a lot of different situations,” she explains. “I think, when you’re discussing queerness and bisexuality, it can be really nice to talk to folks who have an understanding of all of that, rather than kind of having to explain, like, what bisexuality is.”

We now know a bit of Heywood’s identities: a singer, a songwriter, and a bisexual woman. Let’s take a step back, though, and discover the essence, the essay, the expression that makes her the unique, strong, and brave storyteller she has become.

Heywood is a wordsmith and a natural-born entertainer, a clever curator of story with a divine passion for performative prose. Growing up, she sought the limelight and was drawn to theater, dance, and orchestra, and even stand-up comedy. Desiring a way of being seen and understood through a variety of outlets, Heywood became intrigued by music at an early age.

“I remember as a little kid getting a Discman for the first time, and the first experience of really listening to music critically, feeling the emotional journey that it can take you on,” she explains. “I, for some reason, just didn’t put together that I wanted to do that. I was just in awe of it and was a rather obsessive listener all throughout my childhood.”

After picking up a guitar at age 15, Heywood admits that she only plucked away for a little while, but didn’t take it too seriously until she was about 21. Still not convinced that music was going to be her preferred creative output, she pursued a degree in English and started writing poetry and essays. However, throughout her time in writing workshops, Heywood received frequent feedback that her writing style took on a certain lyrical elegance as she began to craft her first set of poems that took a malleable shape that was reminiscent of song. 

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“I started writing songs about five years ago and really fell in love. When I really wanted to write songs, I was like, ‘I need to learn how to play this guitar better,’” she laughs. “So, really it was the songwriting process that welcomed that and led me into music.”

It didn’t take long for her to begin performing publicly in Denver; starting in the literary scene at places like Mutiny Information Cafe and Mercury Cafe playing in showcases alongside poets and comedians. After accumulating about an hour-long setlist, Heywood recorded her first EP in 2019 titled The Wind, It Howls, and she was welcomed into the fold of the local music scene. 

“I didn’t have a bunch of money for like in-person guitar lessons or anything, and so I just learned everything on YouTube,” she reveals. While the guitar has become her main songwriting companion, and the words continue to flow and fill pages of powerful poetry, she confesses that it took some time to get comfortable performing in front of people.

“I was not totally comfortable with the guitar yet, so it was extremely nerve-wracking, but I just felt like I had to do it,” Heywood explains. Though fear did exist for Heywood, it was never a deterrent. 

She says that when she was playing her original songs in front of audiences, she felt absolutely and 100 percent herself. Perfection could not be the main objective; the driving force had to solely be focused on the love of the art and the need to put it out into the world. 

It’s easy to see why Heywood was accepted with open arms and quickly became a voice that many folks were drawn to. There is a timeless warmth that echoes the classic tunes of yesteryear, a sauntering serenity that is encased in the folk-inspired, soul-infused beauty. If her sonic resonance had an aesthetic, it would be a homey mix of 70s-art-deco and modern-country sentiment. As graceful, poised, and confident Heywood is in conversation, her music offers a further vibration of eloquence that easily transports us to another plane.

I dare you not to be entranced by her effortless verses as you stream the tracks that make up her Spotify profile. One would never question Heywood’s confidence, the way she uses her magnetic, velvet-like voice with allure, yet she says it did take some time for her to come to accept her desire to be the frontwoman. Following her instincts and dismissing self-judgment and doubt is what worked without fail for her after she realized she had landed where she had always wanted to be.

“My dreams are valid, even when it feels from the outside like they’re not, and I love my dreams. I’m not going to give up on them; it’s taken me a long time to even admit what they are,” she tells. 

Feeling pride and ownership in the work that she puts out, Heywood is the epitome of an independent artist. Releasing tracks when the moment feels right, allowing the music to inform her of the next steps that need to be taken, it all coincides with her need to be out about her sexuality and be a visible, fierce femme. The time has come, and the timing is right.

Related article: Unrealized Bisexuality- A Memoir Excerpt

“I knew for myself that I was queer a long time ago. I identify as a queer, bisexual woman, and I’m femme; my first relationships were heteronormative and were with men, and they were very much validated by society. Not surprising,” she laughs. “And they were real; I loved people of different genders, and so it was easy to let my family hold an assumption. It felt like it was easier to be invisible or something, which can be true, but also, there’s, like, a major cost to not being clear.”

Heywood continues, “Queerness doesn’t look any particular way, and for me, that clarity and clearness has been incredibly rewarding. It has made my relationships stronger, and I’ve also made my vision of myself stronger.”

When it comes to songwriting, Heywood has discovered a new openness in how she expresses herself, her emotions, and her relationships in song since coming out.

“My first EP I wrote as I was processing the end of two relationships I had that were with men, and so the pronouns on that he/him, and for a while, I thought, ‘People will think I’m straight because I said ‘he’ in a song.’ So, yes, my first EP exists; it was real; I really did experience heartbreak with men. And now, I’m in a partnership with a lesbian woman, and we live together; we have been experiencing the pandemic together, and I write about her with the pronouns she/her,” Heywood explains. 

As she welcomes in a new paradigm of expressing her thoughts, feelings, lovers, and emotions, 2020 was also a year of adjusting her musical direction. Parallel to the rest of humanity’s shift over the last year, her plans, too, changed from releasing a sophomore, follow-up EP was downsized into three songs with accompanying music videos. 

“Songwriting comes in phases,” she explains, “and the three songs that I released this year were all about finding, creating, and defining a creative space for myself.” 

From the energetic single “Python” that elicits movement and even howling from the crowd during live sets, to the song “Letter Day” where Heywood flexes her Americana, indie-folk muscles, and finishing with the newest release, “I won’t resign my love for that old dream,” where we are lulled to rest with the lush vibrato of Heywood’s distinct and differential aesthetic.

While life may have had other plans, Heywood remains faithful to the pursuit of soulful and courageous creativity, and she trusts herself above all else. Nestling into life with her partner has proven lucrative in more ways than one, as she appreciates the awe-inspiring moments amid grief, curiosities, and wonderment. To be clear, this fiercely queer femme is blooming in the landscape of traverse imagination and has found a safe place for her art and passion to flourish.

*Photos by Adrienne Thomas