Clowns? Blood? Pick Your Poison

I was about 13 when I realized I may have a fetish. I was sitting in church (yes, sitting in church) when it hit me. Our Sunday School teacher was telling the story of Mary pouring perfume on Jesus’ feet, then wiping it off with her hair. Perfume? Hair? Feet? (Was I the only one getting aroused?!) Good gracious!

A fetish is a sexual attachment or focus on a body part (feet, let’s say), an inanimate object (perfume, perhaps), or a medium (silk, even) that isn’t inherently sensual. For most people, it’s an occasional dalliance, but a true fetishist cannot have a satisfying sexual experience without it.

Foot fetishes top the list. Hands down. (Or feet, if you prefer.) Entire communities are built around the fetish of leather, and body piercings are emerging as a true force. Hair and shoes round out the top five.

But, maybe you’re not the norm.

Lucky for you, the fetish community is booming with some of the most unusual attractions catching on.

Plushophilia

This one’s a personal favorite. Commonly known as the “furry scene,” this is truly one of the most adorable fetishes around. The so-called “plushies” are turned on by furry creatures that aren’t real, like teddy bears and cartoon characters. Many like to dress as animals, while ascribing them human qualities. Think, perhaps, a life-sized fox with bright, red lips and a blonde wig.

Coulrophilia

They make us laugh, they make us cry, they may even send us running in fear. Whatever your feelings about clowns, they make some people crazy with desire. Salivating over clowns is no laughing matter. Wait. Yes, it is. I’m guessing these fetishists have a ballooning sense of humor.

Agalmatophilia

Anyone who’s stood before the statue of David can appreciate this fetish — arousal via statue or mannequin. I don’t know that mannequins can be considered works of art, but apparently art isn’t the main motivator; there’s something about the human form, carved from stone or cast in plastic, that gets these motors running.

Psychrophilia

Speaking of motionless magnetism, this fetish begins animate and ends, well, frozen. Psychrophiles have fantasies of watching people freeze. The Shining, anyone?

Hematolagnia

With the growing popularity of vampire books, movies, and television shows, it’s no surprise that blood fetishism is on the rise. Interestingly, despite the vampire connection, drinking blood is not actually involved.

Hybristophilia

Ever wonder why Charles Manson has so many groupies? Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, even Jeffrey Dahmer received hundreds of love letters when they were alive. Hybristophilia is the act of fetishizing criminals, and it’s most common among women. Some psychologists believe they see themselves as a kind of redeemer who can help criminals change for the better. (What? A woman who thinks she can change someone? Get outta jail!)

Paraphilic Infantilism

Here’s one that’s acquired mostly by men: the desire to wear diapers and be treated like a baby. While some take on the entire role with cribs, toys, and bottles, others act their age while wearing nappies. Some psychologists attribute this to a desire for a lack of control, while others see it as a need to be babied. (What? A man who … oh, I tease.)

Dendrophilia

This one is for people who love nature. No. I mean really love nature. Dendrophiliacs are attracted to or aroused by trees. Nothing like a 200-foot Sequoia to attract some morning wood.

Voraphilia

Being swallowed whole and/or being digested! Yep! For some, Anaconda is just a scary date movie. For others, it is the date. Crunch. Crunch. Gulp. Yeah, baby.