Canadian Judge Prohibits a 4 Year Old from Wearing ‘Feminine Clothing’

As queer people, it’s not hard to imagine being discriminated against based on our identity. But, not all of us have to face bigotry at the age of four, and under a court order.

This is the case for one Canadian toddler, whose identity is being stifled after their parents took a custody battle to court.

When Susan Smith began to fight for primary custody of her 4-year-old child, she knew the family court process would be tough on her and her husband. Smith, whose real name is being withheld to protect the child, vividly remembers the day last December when an Alberta judge ordered her 4-year-old to stop wearing feminine clothing in public.

“My first reaction to that was kind of like an out-of-body experience, like this isn’t my life, this isn’t happening, and then complete fear of how am I going to break it to my kid,” Smith told CBC News Calgary.

Smith’s family’s story begins a few years ago when the young child, who was born male, first started telling Smith she was a girl. Her child is now five years old. Smith refers to her child as “they” rather than the less gender-neutral pronouns of “him” or “her.”

Over time Smith says her child began introducing herself as a girl to others. When Smith would say things like “you’re such a good boy,” the child would act out in frustration and anger. Then one day, at the age of four, Smith says her child asked her how old she was when her penis fell off.

“My child was severely unhappy and was prepared to do anything to prove to mom that they were not a boy,” she explained. “It was basically like a ton of bricks, I got hit. It was a major wake-up call.”

Smith sought professional help, read up on gender dysphoria and finally began to acknowledge her child’s identity. But, soon the court would be ripping that identity from the child.

Weeks later, Smith’s husband served her with divorce papers, blaming her support for their child’s “gender confusion.”

The two went to family court in December 2015, where Judge Derek Redman ruled that Smith would be the child’s primary caregiver. He also added that the 4-year-old would be forbidden from wearing feminine clothing outside the home.

In February, the case went before Judge Fred Fisher, who maintained Redman’s ruling on the child’s dress code, but took primary custody from Smith and gave it to her husband. Smith was granted limited access.

Though her chance to receive full custody was shot, Smith continued to advocate for her child’s right to dress as they liked. In September, Judge Gordon Krinke made a final ruling on the matter, lifting Redman’s original ban.

Smith now plans to file a human rights complaint against the first two judges in the case and continue to seek primary custody of her child.

“I’m not going to hide under a rock and just give up — this is still a big fight,” she concluded.