Camilla Gisslow’s ‘Perfectly Me’ Books Uplift Trans Kids

In March, Swedish “rainbow” multimedia company Tallbergs Förlag released the U.S./Canada English language versions of the Perfectly Me series, educational children’s books about trans kids.

Written by Camilla Gisslow and illustrated by Klaudia Drabikowska, Perfectly Linus, Perfectly Bella, and Perfectly Charlie are sweet coming out stories where each child asserts their own gender identity, which is then celebrated with a party at school for the new names. The series is highly recommended for parents, family, friends, and teachers.

Gisslow took some time to talk more about the books with OFM, and how her journey of being a LGBTQ activist and educator began.

Hi, Camilla! Thank you for taking some time to chat with me about your Perfectly Me series. Can you tell us more about these books and what inspired you to write them?
The first reason why I wrote them is because I am a mother of a transgender child, and we started our journey in 1997. That is when my son came out, at four-and-a-half years old. He told me he was a boy, not a girl. Back then, I had never heard of a child saying that they have another gender than the one that was given at birth. I only knew about cross dressers, but the way he was explaining it to me, it just touched my heart. I just knew right away this was true. I did not understand it, but I knew it was true. So, I tried to find some books, children’s books or books for parents, anything that could give me tools and help me be the parent that he needed.

I went to the library, and I could not find anything. There was nothing here in Sweden. The only thing I could do was let him be himself, and for me to try and learn along the way. The older he got and the things he had to go through; it was very frustrating. I felt that I needed to start talking about being transgender and growing up transgender. Try to create awareness. While I did that, I started to meet a lot of other parents and young children with the same stories and feelings. Finally, I felt that there needs to be books about being transgender from an early age. We are born with our gender and sexual identity, and you need to relate to the characters that you read. It helps a child be bolder, stronger, and gives them a voice.

Not all kids have the real words for how they feel. They just have a feeling that something is different from others, and they do not fit in. The social norm that they see does not apply to them, but they do not have the words for what it is. When they can identify themselves with another character, that will help them to find the right words to communicate their thoughts and feelings. So, I basically wrote a book I wish I could have found when my child came out, but I also wrote a book to help children find a voice.

Have the books been received well by readers?
Absolutely. I must say, I was very scared in the beginning. Even though we are a very open country and we have come a long way when it comes to LGBTQ equality, and my son made a documentary that really hit home here and won a lot of prizes in both the United States and Canada, we also have our fill of haters. That is just the way it is, so I was a bit scared. I did not know how it would be received, but I have to say, from one hate letter, I get like 15 love letters. Especially from preschools.

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Why do you think it is so important for people to read books like Perfectly Me?
To be aware that we as a human race, we are not just a binary, heteronormative species. I want people to understand and be aware that there are children that are born with a transgender identity. That means also that we need to think in a broader way so we can create an inclusive society and environment for children with a transgender identity. I think that is very important.

Like you mentioned, you started your journey as a trans activist and educator after your son came out. What have you personally gained from this experience?
Oh, boy. I have become such a better person and mom. One of the best parts is meeting with other people that are walking in the same shoes. It is so rewarding to know that I am helping to create change and create a better space for other people. For example, three years ago, I got a phone call from the Swedish Defense Military here in Sweden. One of the guys had been to one of my lectures that I held for lieutenants and the high shots within the military service here in Sweden. He asked if I wanted to come up to their regiments to see if I could provide education for their recruits. So, I went up there, and we decided that we were going to try and see how it would be received.

I was so nervous, but I did it. They asked me to come back the next year, and this last year was my third time. The head military guy of the whole regiment came, I had two days of education with 600 recruits, and he came up to me afterwards and said, ‘I don’t think you understand what an impact you’ve had here at this regiment.’ I was like, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘Things have changed. Everything has changed since you have been here.’ There is this whole new awareness, and it is such a better environment for everyone. Not just for LGBTQ people.

When he said that, I felt like I did my work. If I were to drop dead, I would have been happy. That is what it’s all about. We need to change the world to a better place. I know what it is like in the States, especially after those four years with Trump who was just trying to minimalize the life for LGBTQ people. It is ridiculous, and I hope it is going to change now with Biden. It seems like he is trying to create change in a way, but I know how hard it is. My grandmother lived in New York, and I lived in the States for a short period of time too. I am bisexual, and I never dared coming out. I never dared to tell anyone, and I actually did not tell anyone while my son was going through his thing either. I thought, if I say something, people are going to use that against him. Everyone should be able to live their lives without being treated differently.

What are some of the issues trans people are currently fighting for or against in Sweden? Are they similar to the issues in the U.S.?
I would say yes, but one of the differences from the States and here is that our healthcare is much better. They do not have to pay for the whole transition part.  I was talking to one of my son’s cousins in New York about how he was going to do one of his surgeries, and she said, ‘My God, that is going to be so expensive. How can you afford it?’ I said, ‘We do not have to pay anything.’ She was shocked.

So, that is a difference, but there is still this whole process of waiting. Waiting to proceed with transition, meeting doctors, psychiatrists, that takes a toll, especially on young transgender people. Mental health here in Sweden is very important; transgender people are at the top of the list when it comes to suicide. That is between the ages of 14-20. Forty percent are trying to, or want to, kill themselves. That is also why I do this work. I don’t know if I can reach down to zero, but if I can help lower that percentage, I would be happy.

Also, some do not receive the love, respect, and acceptance from their families. A lot of young transgender people, and also older, they are being abandoned by their families. Then, of course, there is violence. Not as much in the States, but there is still violence. There is a higher risk of transgender women ending up in prostitution, which also makes them end up in a more vulnerable situation when it comes to violence and drugs. When it comes to transgender boys, they are not being taken seriously because everyone is viewing them as girls. Social norms teach you that a girl cannot think for herself, so transgender boys have a hard time being heard and respected in that sense.

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What can you tell us about your consulting company, TransForming?
I do a lot of seminars and lectures, and I work with a lot of schools. Right now, I am working with an education program for schools to learn not only the basic knowledge about LGBTQ people, but also how to interact with people. I recently had a teacher call me who was very frustrated. They had three new students who came to the class, and all three were transgender. No one said anything to the teachers. So, one of the teachers, she did not want to be rude or non-inclusive, but the way she went about things, she actually was.

She did not have the proper tools to know what questions to ask or not. A lot of transgender people becomes the teacher for the teacher, or the teacher for the doctors. I am trying to change that. Give teachers the right tools for preschool and up. I have worked with the military now, this will be my fourth year, and I have been working with the police as well on sensitivity and equality training. It has been kind of quiet this past year because of COVID, but there have been a few lectures and seminars online.

What more do you hope to accomplish with your platform?
I hope to continue to hold seminars and lectures and teach everyone. I would love to continue my work in the States, and I want people to know about our journey, what I learned, and hope it will create the same effect. I am also a writer of screenplay and I have made a documentary. I hope to continue working with films and do more documentaries and features.

Before we wrap up, do you have any other upcoming projects, or anything else you would like to mention our plug?
Just that my books are now available in English!

To stay up-to-date with Gisslow and learn more about TransForming, follow her on Instagram or visit her official website. The Perfectly Me books are now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and bookstores can order via Ingram.

Photos Courtesy of Ian Muller