Bobby Guard is Breaking the Binary

It’s a fact: there is definitely not enough queer representation in music, and little to none when it comes to folks who identify as nonbinary. Indie-folk musician Bobby Guard is on a mission to change that, not by changing the broader construct of gender in music, but by simply creating art that is authentic to their story.

The filmmaker transformed into a songwriter while attending the University of California, as they wrote songs and played guitar in their spare time. Without the pressure of needing to use this form of art as a way to earn a living, Guard wrote often and built a portfolio of music that explored the complexities of life and utilized their unique blend of folk, rock, and new-wave.

Now, Guard has released a new single titled “Faith Alone” in which they continue to highlight the outsiders’ perspective while embracing a little bit of good, old-fashioned, country twang. With their deep vocal styling, the song has a somber yet swaying capability to draw you into a space of questioning love, trust, and faith.

How are you doing amid the coronavirus craziness?
Oh my gosh. I mean, my health is doing okay. There’s a lot of anxiety, so many unknowns, so it’s a day-by-day process of just processing it. But, you know, trying to stay grounded and stay in touch with people that I love, fill time with things that I love, that I can do from home, luckily.

Have you found that having more free time has fed your creativity? 
Yeah, 100 percent, most days I’m doing a little bit of writing, a little composition. In a way, it’s sort of inspirational and something to write about or reflect on because I still think that can be a very new thing for a lot of us who are so often working non-stop or so driven towards production or driven towards output.

It’s still a challenge; I find that there are some days where I don’t feel like I can really commit to making something; I just need to sort of rest my body. I think a lot of inspiration is in little things, trying to get in touch with feeling right now.

Honestly, I get a lot of comfort out of horror movies; I downloaded Shudder and have been making my way through a bunch of old horror movies from the 80s. A lot of inspiration for me does come from embracing a safe dose of fear, embracing that grief.

How do you explore the feelings that are evoked in horror films through your music? 
I like playing with dissonance or playing with the types of chords and melodies. Right now, I’m writing songs about daily life, or anger, or frustration, or just even reminder notes to still have some hope because I do think that’s really important. Sometimes, without even the words, it’s sitting down at the piano and playing something that doesn’t necessarily sound pleasant to the ear but still kind of can express the feelings.

Can you tell us about the new single, “Faith Alone?”
I wrote the song over a year ago; I had been going through a lot of grief at the time. I had lost my dad back in November of 2018 as well as my grandmother, and we were going through a lot of pretty painful changes family-wise. One of the hardest things is that I was going through a breakup, like, right after all of that, so there was compounded grief.

When my dad was in home hospice, we were watching a true crime show, and someone on there said, ‘God doesn’t give me more than you could handle. I wish that he just hadn’t picked me.’

That felt like such a homespun philosophy; it expressed so much, and I really resonated with. I kind of started writing from there. It’s sort of a note to my former partner; it is a note to a lot of pain that people can feel in the world. It’s kind of funny having it come out now; I never would have imagined that this is what would be surrounding that release, but I’m glad that it can resonate with people in that way.

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You’re also a filmmaker, how do you find that to be a different outlet than music?
For me, [music] is more personal because it’s so self-expressive. I think I get more out of it as a form of therapy, or like a diary even, like, how do I feel in a given moment, or what’s on my mind? Filmmaking is a lot more collaborative it’s a very social medium because everyone’s got their own, specialized piece of that puzzle. It’s much more of a machine, where this feels more like a painting or something much more manageable for me right now.

How do you use your music to explore your queerness?
There’s a trusting in fluidity, the trust in the unknown, and exploration and experimentation like that has been so much like queerness for me. For the longest time, growing up in a middle class, Protestant household, I didn’t know what queerness was. Dating someone for a short time in high school who is bi and feeling things out as I went, trying stuff in college, kinda questioning about sexuality and gender, there wasn’t a word for it. I wasn’t really sure what it was, but I think that continuous exploration and conversation with people, there’s that intimacy and  flirtiness. So, sitting down and letting something blossom really feels clear to me. I think it’s really beautiful.

At what point did identifying as nonbinary feel right for you?
It would have been sometime around 2016. I had a friend who came out as nonbinary, and I kept thinking about it cuz I was like, ‘That sounds familiar.’ I always had this attachment to lesbian culture and lesbian representation in media, and I felt this consistent soft butch energy that I wasn’t really sure how to completely embrace.

A friend and I went on a road trip for about a month across the whole U.S., and there were these little light bulb moments. I danced around for a while; there’s a lot of imposter syndrome with existing sometimes, and I just felt one day I needed to try it out.

I’m so glad I did; it felt so good; it felt so right. It’s also something that I love that is fluid; there’s not a rule on how to be, and I think that’s so important because I think that we really self-impose rules that don’t need to be there.

How do you feel about nonbinary representation in the music industry?
I don’t think that there’s a lot of it; I would like to see more of it. I think in a perfect world, people should be able to just exist, but we need that representation because it’s not at that point yet. I think it’s important for people to be able to see someone in the public eye, like this beautiful, nonbinary person, to say, ‘Yeah, I can do that.’ In general, I want to see more queer performers in the widespread popular media. We have more than we ever have before, but I think we have a long way to go.

To stay up to date with Bobby Guard, follow them on Facebook, Instagram, and all the streaming platforms.