Power of acceptance found in “Beginners”

The gay father/straight son comedy-drama film Beginners is far too twee in its opening reel as Oliver (Ewan McGregor) talks to his late dad’s adorable Jack Russell Terrier (who answers in too cute subtitles). But stick with it. This is one of those rare films that actually improves as it unspools. By its end, Beginners is really quite moving.

The film, written and directed by Mike Mills, is based on Mills’ own experiences with his father, who came out at age 75 and a few years later, succumbed to lung cancer. The strength of Beginners is in the believable exchanges between parent and child as they each navigate love, sex and dating.

Whether audiences laugh or groan at such moments will likely depend on their own experiences. Beginners is a highly personal story. Mills tries to make it universal, even if sometimes he tries too hard.

Hal (the gay father played by Christopher Plummer) doesn’t quite come screaming out of the closet, but he proudly wears a rainbow scarf. A discussion Hal and Oliver have over the meaning of a rainbow flag on the surface is about gay awareness. But this scene has considerable power when Oliver finds the flag while cleaning out his father’s papers. Such are the unexpected emotional depths of Beginners. Things that seem silly or corny at first, often take on greater significance when remembered.

Mills nicely parallels Oliver and Hal’s respective romances – which unfold years apart – by juxtaposing moments such as Hal and boyfriend Andy kissing with Oliver kissing Anna, an actress he starts seeing. The way both father and son start coming out of their shells is the film’s theme. Oliver is commitment phobic because of how he viewed his parents’ marriage. Observing his father’s new romance, Oliver learns how to love and be loved. It’s effective and affecting.

And the emotional pull of the story stems from the way the characters are presented; there is no pandering to stereotypes. When Anna talks to Oliver about his sadness, it is genuine; he is in mourning. Likewise, Hal’s candid speech about his wife proposing to him is revelatory. When Hal talks about wanting to “fix” his sexuality, it is an experience many gay men who get married, or date women share. Mills displays perspicacity in Beginners that sneaks up on the viewers.

This is not to say the film doesn’t have some unwieldy moments. Scenes of a young Oliver spending time with his mother (Mary Page Keller) makes their bond clear, but these episodes seem too ready to vilify her, which seems unfair.

Nevertheless, Beginners is absorbing because viewers will come to care about the characters, and there may be tears as Hal’s health declines. One of the film’s best scenes is an almost throwaway moment in which Oliver observes his father’s nurse rubbing gel into Hal’s hair. The unspoken love here is undeniable.

The performances by McGregor and Plummer also contribute to the film’s worth. McGregor is entirely unselfconscious as Oliver, and Plummer is fantastic, never making Hal a camp caricature.

Ultimately, Beginners is the kind of warm film gay parents should see with their kids, and queer kids should see with their parents. It illustrates the power of acceptance without ever being cloying.

Beginners makes its Colorado debut in theatres on Friday, June 17 for more information: www.beginnersmovie.com.