A more-than-decent proposal

In the beginning of our relationship Luke and I were polar opposites, and the topic of marriage was no exception. To him, a home with a white picket fence seemed like a life well lived. To me, it just seemed like an institution originally designed to oppress women. Even modern interpretations of marriage felt useless in light of high infidelity and divorce rates. As we tackled our differences in our weird experiment of a relationship, when it came to the idea of having a ceremony, we left it alone.

My parents just so happened to be in town during our three-year anniversary. Luke wanted to do something special, even if it was quick. One afternoon later, he told me to go ahead and dress nice so we could break away for an hour to celebrate.

Luke took me to the peak lounge in the Hyatt Regency hotel. The 27th story bar had amazing views and it did feel pretty romantic. Our table already had two glasses of champagne and a cheese plate waiting. At this point in my life, I had given up alcohol completely, but never minded a few sips of something sweet and bubbly for celebratory purposes. Besides, it would compliment my insatiable desire for cheese quite nicely.

Once we devoured our fatty dairy delight, the waitress took the plate and replaced it with a Chinese take-out box donning a bow; obviously a gift.

“What is this?” I asked Luke, giggling from the champagne.

“I thought it would be fun,” he grinned.

I opened the box to find a bunch of puzzle pieces. Luke suggested we put it together so I dumped it all out on the table. It didn’t take long before I realized the puzzle was an old picture of us hugging in a parking lot. But as we put the final parts into place, it looked as though a couple pieces were missing.

“Oh shit,” I said, looking under the table. “We are such a mess. How did we already lose pieces?”

As I looked up, the waitress dropped off another, even littler Chinese take out box with an even littler bow. There were more puzzle pieces inside. I popped them in place I noticed the image had been photoshopped so that the back windshield of a car said “Just Married.” The final piece formed a question over the license plate: “Will you?”

I didn’t get it. Luke had to help.

“So will you?” he asked. I stared back with glossy, drunk eyes. He took my hand. “Will you marry me?”

I busted out laughing — only out of pure shock. It was the most overpowering sense of joy in single moment in my entire life. Tears began rolling down my face. Luke hadn’t taken this as any sort of confirmation. He kept asking for my answer. I nodded as much as I could, and after taking a second to compose myself, I said the word “yes.”

The waitress returned, squealing with delight — she said she’d been waiting for this moment all day. In the bottom of the second box, Luke had placed some promise rings we had bought for each other earlier in our relationship. We’d never really worn them and they now felt more appropriate as engagement rings.

As we packed up our puzzle and headed toward the hotel exit, my parents happened to be waiting outside, in on it.

Obviously, we couldn’t get legally married in Colorado. But for Luke, it seemed more appropriate to propose in a more traditional way than will you commitment-ceremony me?

I still wasn’t entirely sure about the concept of marriage. But the idea of having a ceremony with Luke suddenly felt completely natural. And sometimes it is worth throwing your hesitations out the window for a man as wonderful as him.

Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as a HIV-positive gay man.  See more of Scott’s columns online at ofcnow.co/scott or contact him at scott@outfrontonline.com.