A jungle out there: How lesbians and gays find love and dating

Kocataşkin offers other avenues for learning about oneself and honing in on relationship needs: “Therapy is good for some people, if they’re open to it,” he says. “So is an exploration of spirituality. Meditation – whether practiced in the context of a religious tradition or not – is an incredibly effective way to connect with oneself.”

The lesbian community in Denver, meanwhile, seems to be focused less on individual self-awareness, and more on building social spaces – period. “The (lesbian) scene in Denver is quite approachable compared to other cities,” Herod said, “but people here just don’t go out much.” Herod agrees that the lesbian community is in a good place, but there’s still work to be done – creating spaces that fit interests and bring people together.

“In the past, I was involved in a couple of meet-ups and groups that were focused on women,” she says. “I have even hosted cocktail hours at my house for women who just wanted to hang out. Also, Rep. (Sue) Schafer – an out Wheat Ridge Democrat – started an organization not long ago for lesbian leaders in the community. There’s a lot of creation happening right now. It’s sporadic, but people are trying to create that scene.”

As far as online dating is concerned, the era of building community and relationships on the internet is far from over. As Bosworth explains, three months after Connexion shut its doors (in September 2011), people were still emailing him lamenting the disappearance of an immensely valuable networking resource.

Starting in December of last year, Bosworth teamed up with visionaries and programmers to begin work on what will soon be Denver’s newest social networking site: Fresh Friends. Dedicated not only to the kind of positive relationship- and community-building inherent in Connexion, the site will also keep the community apprised of events and gatherings that will bring folks closer together.

“We are committed to the values and core mission of what made Connexion so special,” Bosworth says.

Fresh Friends is slated to launch later this summer, with beta testing shortly beforehand. Like Connexion, it will offer a sex-free focus—that is, no nude profile pictures, and a distinct separation from nudity-forward sites like Manhunt and Adam4Adam.

“We’re really committed to resurrecting that sense of community and friendship that made Connexion so great. We will also have the same community and photo guidelines, and many of the features—like chat and discussion boards—will be the same.”

Perhaps, then, after my friend spends a bit of time reflecting on personal interests and gives this new social networking a chance, he can leave behind the days of false torsos and Grindr mishaps. For him, and for all those who are truly looking for love and connection, a little bit of effort and a lot of honesty is sure to go a long way.

Click to view Part II of this feature: Single and Looking: Local lesbians and gays on love & Dating

Interested in being one of the first to try Fresh Friends? Visit freshfriends.net to sign up for updates.