A home for the holidays

Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza and the New Year – there’s no denying that the holiday season is here. The most dominant colors of red and green have crept up on us and now seem to be everywhere. For many Christians the color red symbolizes the blood of the way-shower that Jesus gave for the sins of the world. Green, the color of evergreen trees, represents everlasting life promised to those who embrace Jesus as their savior.

As an individual who holds all faiths within my daily spiritual practice, I am also aware that growing up Christian laid the foundation for who I am today. Therefore, in my current kaleidoscope of devotions, I have oftentimes contemplated on the meanings of these most popular holiday colors, knowing that they are not the hues that depict my holiday roadmap in its entirety.

For the majority of people, the celebrated holidays are significant times to be with family, friends, new loves and interesting acquaintances. They are periods in which good tidings are shared and provide a stage to prepare emotionally, spiritually and physically toward positive transformations in the upcoming year. However, for the LGBT global communities, the holidays can be lonely and have served as channels in which raw memories reside. During this time of year, one of the haunting questions for someone who has not been accepted because of the lifestyle that he or she was born into, is whether to make the trying trip of going home. Another question I often hear is: “If I do trek upon, and ignore the needs of my heart, should I also drag my partner along and both pretend to be happy when we are truly not?”

My question to you right now is this: “What do you truly want this holiday?” This inquiry is not meant to represent material possessions or showiness, it is heart-centered and your sacred, personal reply to it resolves to disclose to you where your love exists. When ultimate self-care is practiced first, then the loving of ourselves interconnects with the revealing of answers to difficult choices. In loving ourselves first, we begin to understand that why and who we love, is not aberrant. This leads us to better understand that the color red – used as a part of the celebration of holidays – is not a symbol of what others refer to as “a united communal sin” carried like rocks on shoulders and manifested through personal guilt.

During this time of the year, I often refer to the Sufi poet Hafiz. Hafiz was once asked this question by a young woman: “What is the sign of someone who knows God?” After remaining silent for a few moments, Hafiz replied by saying this: “Dear, they have dropped the cruel knife most so often use upon their tender selves and others.”

When ultimate self-care is practiced first, then the loving of ourselves and others are linked, and it is at this very moment we learn to drop the knife; we can accept the decisions of our families through the continued allowance of our love toward them. This is where I believe the supreme life embodied in the green of Christmas comes into being. And, although the pliable thread to travel home for the holidays nags at us each year, for those who find this attempt to be challenging, the very fact that full and vibrant life comes through the joyful laughter of friends, the caring words of those in our loving communities, and the excitement to learn more about newfangled acquaintances, are testimonies that staying happily at home for the holidays is indeed a possibility.

Whatever colors you choose in your décor and friend-family traditions you start this year, just know you are loved. You are loved by a universal presence who accepts you right where you are. I send you genuine love from my heart and warm light to shine on your beautiful faces during this holiday season. Always in peace, and in happiness.