10 ways to move from romantic dud to flirtatious stud!

Summer is coming and is a great opportunity to meet some new people and have some fun. Here are some ideas about how to fine tune your ability to throw out and pick up these cues that can show potential interest in pursuing a conversation or more sweaty activities with others. It would be unfortunate to miss a great chance for some seasonal fun!

10. Be respectful – It doesn’t matter if the guy is the hottest stud you’ve ever seen; it’s not effective to drool, stare him down or maul him like a lion on a gazelle. On the flip side, don’t be rude or cruel to someone who hits on or compliments you – if you’re not interested, just say thank you and move on.

9. Be intimate – invading someone’s personal space can cause awkwardness, but it can also show interest and they may want you invade your bubble in return. Don’t be afraid to reach out and touch someone. Just go slow and don’t overstay your welcome. By the way, mints are always good ammunition before starting the invasion!

8. Be emotionally aware – Think about your attitude before you go to socialize with people. You may be feeling out–of–place, angry, relaxed, self-loathing, bored, excited or desperate. These moods come out even if you are trying to cover them.

7. Be affectionate – Touch his arm or leg to show that you are interested; physical contact feels great. But there is a huge difference between a gentle touch on the shoulder and a crotch grab.

6. Be presentable – wear clothes that make you feel attractive or powerful; although comfort can be important, what you wear should make you feel and look good. There is nothing wrong with a little healthy acknowledgment of, “hell yeah I look great – bring it on!”

5. Be aware of social cues – There is a huge difference between making eye contact and looking away out of shyness, versus looking away because they aren’t attracted or want to invite a conversation. It is important to distinguish between interest and disinterest, but sometimes you can’t be sure until you go up and talk.

4. Be composed – The way you stand and the expression on your face tells people about you before you utter a word. You might feel awkward, stand with your arms crossed, or tend to scan the room from the edge. Take a moment and evaluate how others may perceive you. If you have any doubt, stand in front of a mirror or ask a buddy for her or his assessment.

3. Be real – Look confident without overacting; playing games trying to appear overconfident may give others the impression that you are arrogant, standoffish or unapproachable. Don’t waste time attempting to develop an inflated ego persona.

2. Be realistic – Knowing the cues won’t be worth a damn if you don’t recognize them. It is also extremely important to realize when they are not there. It is up to you act appropriately in social situations. Be careful to not let your interests or emotions experiences override your logical mind; they can override your perceptions and lead to bad choices.

1. Be yourself – Any social interaction will be more effective when delivered with confidence. I’m painfully aware that challenging insecurity and raising self-esteem can be a challenge; take time to address them and develop effective social skills. Feeling awkward and isolated keeps us from connecting with people, but more importantly stops us from finding happiness and fulfillment in life.

These are merely techniques that I have found to be extremely helpful and effective in meeting new people and developing strong and interesting friendships. If at first you don’t succeed, try again or change your tactic. There is definitely no single way to be successful. How do you become skilled? Practice, practice, practice!